If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
