last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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