in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
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