pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
