I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
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i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
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He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text