How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
and she was petting her beer can
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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