were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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