The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
