Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
