hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
