I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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