I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
