HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize