I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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