If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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