Having a random hookup so left but love u
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize