porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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