I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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