Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
