i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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