They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
