The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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