google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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