Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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