Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
