piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize