So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
