I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
