My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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