You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
