She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
