Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
