Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
