You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
