Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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