there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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