Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
