You work out of a Hotel?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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