sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
