so let's talk penis.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
