She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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