And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
