She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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