We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
