So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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