so let's talk penis.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
