I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
