I skipped work to stalk him.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
