this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I need a beard to bite.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
