i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A bitchslap is in order.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize