Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
