and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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