I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
