But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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