I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
