OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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