I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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