i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i drank out of a bidet.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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