I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
