dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
When are your genitals available?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
