THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
