I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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