i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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