We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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