Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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