everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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