Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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