I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
