But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize